Sometimes I wonder how those around me can hide their pain and grief with a smile on their face. I dont understand how people who on the outside appear so together are torn to shreds on the inside...those whose lives seem happy are often the ones covering up the pain. I cant comprehend the thought of suicide, and I feel sorrow for those who are at a point that the only way to make themselves feel better is to end their life. I just personally cant relate, because I have never been to a point that low and I thank God for that. Maybe it is also that I dont hide my emotions well...I may not verbalize them but my thoughts and emotions are written all over my face. You can take one look at me and know what my emotions are at any moment. I just believe though that suicide is the selfish way out of life's problems. There is no man or woman that is truly an island unto themselves, and there are people in everyone's life that sincerely care about them. Those who attempt suicide dont consider the impact of how deeply this hurts those they most care about.
I just want to know were the signs for depression there? Did we just miss them? Are we just so busy that we overlook people's emotions and feelings? Is their hope that fleeting?
Anyways, these are just some questions I was pondering...
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature." - Anne Frank
Mandisa says it best with her lyrics...
Been a hard one, Been a bad one
Been a tough one, Been a sad one
It's been one of those days that keeps chipping away
Nothing new here, It's what I do here
its a stereotypical day, in the life
I'm surrounded by all of the pain and the strife
but I know it's alright
Cause it's only the world I'm living in
It's only today I've been given
There ain't no way I'm giving in
Cause it's only the world
I know the best is still yet to come
Cause even when my days in the world are done
There's gonna be so much more than only the world for me
Yeah its only the world
Anybody can you hear me?
Do you feel me? I mean, do you feel me?
I know I'm not the only one wearing the weight of this world
We got problems said it's alright
Just remember yeah, it's alright
Take a good look around we're just stuck on the ground for a little while
Don't it make you smile
Cause it's only the world I'm living in
It's only today I've been given
There ain't no way I'm giving in
Oh Cause it's only the world
I know the best is still yet to come
Cause even when my days in the world are done
There's gonna be so much more than only the world for me
Heaven is a place where the tears on every face will be wiped away
Oh and I can't wait to go, but for now it's enough to know
This is only temporary this only , Yeah it's Alright!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just sittin' here resting my bones....
So, I have been crazy busy the last few weeks and havent written much, but these past weeks have been slammed packed with great memories. I will give you a snapshot of the last month which included a very spontaneous and unlikely snow day which included multiple snowball fights and the building of snow people. The next adventure was Mardi Gras Mobile Style!
Some days it is just nice to get excited about the small things such as school being cancelled (I mean just all full of happiness with childlike exuberance to play in the snow!) and to attend a parade and catch fists fulls of beads that are absolutely worthless. Life simply doesnt get much better. In the past two weeks I have also had my fair share of stresses and worries...but I reminded myself to allow time to workout frustrations but to let what you cant change/control go. I need to be content/happy in the blessings in my life. I have decided to start focusing on the good rather than the bad...I need to look at things through different eyes and from different perspectives and realize the big picture.
I am getting more excited by the moment for our trip to Guatemala! I know that the trip will be life changing and be that reminder that I dont have problems when I see the situation these precious children grow up in. I thank God for the opportunity to go and serve with friends in a country and villages that so desperately need to hear a good message.
Student teaching has been a wonderful experience, and I know I could not have gotten a better placement. I am so thankful for the opportunity to work with teachers and professionals that are giving me experience and feedback that will only make me a stronger, more effective teacher come August. I have just been amazed at the conversations and discussions I have had with not only students but teachers alike. I have seen nothing but respect and interest from teachers in making my days easier in this transition as well advice for my career field.
Can I just say that the Olympics just rock! I am a huge fan of the humanity and the gathering of nations to pursue a common quest of athletic excellence. I love to see the pride of nations and cant imagine how awesome the moment must be to step up on the podium and hear the American National Anthem. I get chills just watching it on t.v. and cant fathom the moment and shear exhilaration of recieving a gold medal (I mean that is the ultimate bling!). But oh if I could I would want it to be for curling...Curling is by far the best Winter Olympic sport. Russia 2014 here I come. So, I have got to sign off and get to work on my sweeping skills!
Some days it is just nice to get excited about the small things such as school being cancelled (I mean just all full of happiness with childlike exuberance to play in the snow!) and to attend a parade and catch fists fulls of beads that are absolutely worthless. Life simply doesnt get much better. In the past two weeks I have also had my fair share of stresses and worries...but I reminded myself to allow time to workout frustrations but to let what you cant change/control go. I need to be content/happy in the blessings in my life. I have decided to start focusing on the good rather than the bad...I need to look at things through different eyes and from different perspectives and realize the big picture.
I am getting more excited by the moment for our trip to Guatemala! I know that the trip will be life changing and be that reminder that I dont have problems when I see the situation these precious children grow up in. I thank God for the opportunity to go and serve with friends in a country and villages that so desperately need to hear a good message.
Student teaching has been a wonderful experience, and I know I could not have gotten a better placement. I am so thankful for the opportunity to work with teachers and professionals that are giving me experience and feedback that will only make me a stronger, more effective teacher come August. I have just been amazed at the conversations and discussions I have had with not only students but teachers alike. I have seen nothing but respect and interest from teachers in making my days easier in this transition as well advice for my career field.
Can I just say that the Olympics just rock! I am a huge fan of the humanity and the gathering of nations to pursue a common quest of athletic excellence. I love to see the pride of nations and cant imagine how awesome the moment must be to step up on the podium and hear the American National Anthem. I get chills just watching it on t.v. and cant fathom the moment and shear exhilaration of recieving a gold medal (I mean that is the ultimate bling!). But oh if I could I would want it to be for curling...Curling is by far the best Winter Olympic sport. Russia 2014 here I come. So, I have got to sign off and get to work on my sweeping skills!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I can only imagine....
I am reminded today that life is precious and short. We need to say what we mean and mean what we say. I am reminded that I need to live a life that is intentional and purposeful. I have been pondering my life's mission statement and philosophy lately. One of the questions I have been asking myself is "What impact will I have on the world?" & "What will be my legacy?"
I have come to the conclussion that the following quotes sum up what I feel about what I want my contribution to be for humanity.
Isaiah 1:17
Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the opprressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the cause of the widow.
Luke 10:2
And He said to them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." ~ Albert Einstein
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, " I used everything you gave me."~ Erma Bombeck
These are questions that I have been throwing around in my head and contemplating:
1.When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?
2. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world?
3. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
4. Are you listening to what God has intended and planned for your life?
5. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding me back?
6. Have I been the kind of friend I want as a friend?
7. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
8. If not now, then when?
9. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
10. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
I say all this because I need to evaluate the time and effort I am expending in my daily life to make sure I am where I need to be. Today has been a crazy day filled with lots of reflection on life and God's mercy.
Anyways ...life is short and we need to let those around us know how much they mean in our lives...we need to create or add to our bucket lists...we need to dance while no one is looking, sing at the top of our lungs, kick off the training wheels, test the waters, and take a leap of faith!
I have come to the conclussion that the following quotes sum up what I feel about what I want my contribution to be for humanity.
Isaiah 1:17
Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the opprressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the cause of the widow.
Luke 10:2
And He said to them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." ~ Albert Einstein
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, " I used everything you gave me."~ Erma Bombeck
These are questions that I have been throwing around in my head and contemplating:
1.When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?
2. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world?
3. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
4. Are you listening to what God has intended and planned for your life?
5. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding me back?
6. Have I been the kind of friend I want as a friend?
7. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
8. If not now, then when?
9. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
10. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
I say all this because I need to evaluate the time and effort I am expending in my daily life to make sure I am where I need to be. Today has been a crazy day filled with lots of reflection on life and God's mercy.
Anyways ...life is short and we need to let those around us know how much they mean in our lives...we need to create or add to our bucket lists...we need to dance while no one is looking, sing at the top of our lungs, kick off the training wheels, test the waters, and take a leap of faith!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Embracing the madness of it all...
I have to say that prior to this semester I thought it could get no crazier schedule wise...but HARK! I was wrong. Student teaching is keeping me busy and on my toes. I am enjoying student teaching and the classroom experience has been wonderful. I have however decided that I am giving up on the idea of sleep until May 8th. It is crazy to think that soon I will have my Masters, and that I will be joining the real world and all its glory (work and bills).
This year I have seen a lot of changes in my attitude towards situations and people, grown deeper in my relationship with God, realized what is important, traveled throughout the states and abroad, been on mission trips, cultivated friendships that will last a lifetime, as well as been challenged and humbled. I am blessed in the craziness that sometimes overwhelms my daily life...I just need to stop and smell the roses along the way. Remind myself to embrace the hectic schedule and realize the magnitude of the opportunities I have been given.
I cant wait to be on a plane headed to Guatemala once again!
I have to say that prior to this semester I thought it could get no crazier schedule wise...but HARK! I was wrong. Student teaching is keeping me busy and on my toes. I am enjoying student teaching and the classroom experience has been wonderful. I have however decided that I am giving up on the idea of sleep until May 8th. It is crazy to think that soon I will have my Masters, and that I will be joining the real world and all its glory (work and bills).
This year I have seen a lot of changes in my attitude towards situations and people, grown deeper in my relationship with God, realized what is important, traveled throughout the states and abroad, been on mission trips, cultivated friendships that will last a lifetime, as well as been challenged and humbled. I am blessed in the craziness that sometimes overwhelms my daily life...I just need to stop and smell the roses along the way. Remind myself to embrace the hectic schedule and realize the magnitude of the opportunities I have been given.
I cant wait to be on a plane headed to Guatemala once again!
Moral of it all...Live it up. Keep it real. Take in all the craziness life offers!
*photo credit: BJ Smith
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