Reliance

I find myself very alone these days. It is so true that the only thing you can count on in this world is your relationship with God. I am thankful that He reminds me that He will always be there even chase after me when it is needed. He is so gracious and good. He is the one thing I can completely rely on. Thankful for that steadiness. 

Where you stand....

It is nice to know where you stand...the reality is now you know how much you mean to someone whether it be good or bad. You know. I mean it is blindsiding, but at the same time you also have seen it coming...that gap between you growing ever wider. Nonetheless, it hurts.

Lately...

Lately, I hate to admit...that I have struggled with so much. I rest in the fact that I know God never leaves me and that His grace is sufficient...still there are points when I lose sight of that or I simply forget. I have felt so isolated lately...which leads me to further reliance on Him. I am reminded that he is the sole rock I can rest upon. He is the only one who brings me peace.

I have been studying/working my way slowly through the Old Testament lately. God is revealing not only his nature/character to me but opening my eyes to passages and verses that previously did not seem to hold much meaning to me. I love to see my relationship with God growing and my faith deepening. It is amazing to see Gods personality reflected in his creation. I am so thankful that he has pursued me even with my many flaws.

 A song that spoken to my heart is Big Daddy Weave's Redeemed.

Lyrics:
Seems like all I could see was the struggle 
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past 
Bound up in shackles of all my failures 
Wondering how long is this gonna last 
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son 
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" 


I am redeemed, You set me free 
So I'll shake off these heavy chains 
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed 


All my life I have been called unworthy 
Named by the voice of my shame and regret 
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" 
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet 


I am redeemed, You set me free 
So I'll shake off these heavy chains 
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be 


Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me 
'Cause his day is long dead and gone 
Because I've got a new name, a new life, 
I'm not the same 
And a hope that will carry me home 


I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away ever stain, yeah I'm not who I used to be
Oh God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be


'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed


Amen! So thankful for his unending love and his forgiveness!

To be...

One of my favorite quotes is, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."-Ghandi Just questioning myself on how well I epitomize what I long to be...Someone who makes a difference. Am I making impact in the lives God has surrounded me with? This is simply what is on my mind tonight.

Refresh my soul

This week I have taken time to slow down my pace and just hang with the family. I needed this time to dig into the word and recharge my battery. I have been running on fumes of late...life just has a way of beating you down. Anyways, the timing was perfect for this much needed retreat from the norm. I feel rejuvenated and ready for the though weeks ahead with the spring fever of students leading to nothing shy of apathy.

It has been a long semester, but God teaches so much in the lengthy stretches of my life. I have been consumed with some things that God should have had all along. So, I will be vigilant and content in giving my worries to God. He knows best.

Phillipians 4:6

My help comes from the Lord. He remains faithful always. Praise the Lord. Oh my soul!

Oh, so much is said in this perfect silence...

When there is nothing left but the absence of noise...you have time to think and search your soul. The lack of communication brings with it it's own understanding. I tire of the feeling that I am some insignificant person. So, I am left with no doubt in the deafening silence I have found of late. Things have been clearly defined even with the lack of definition. I took it to the point that I put everything on the line and well it didn't go as planned. That's all I can do. Wow, disappointment hurts.

http://instagr.am/p/ITJ2BogbZ0/

Words are cheap, actions are where value can be found.

When you're needing your space to do some navigating...

I have so much to learn.

I spent today just laying in my bed thinking and reflecting. I am just trying to be a woman who seeks God for all my answers and giving my worries completely over to Him...not so easy for me. Clearly, I feel I need control and clearly that hasn't worked for me in the past. ( you think I would learn from that!) I personally took a risk recently that is totally outside of my box and let a wall down...to my surprise I have survived and even without knowing the outcome there is something freeing in sharing a part of me that so few see. I am such a guarded person.

I know that God knows what lies ahead for me, and I must rest in the reassurance that he is the best captain to look to when I need to navigate this life.