To be...

One of my favorite quotes is, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."-Ghandi Just questioning myself on how well I epitomize what I long to be...Someone who makes a difference. Am I making impact in the lives God has surrounded me with? This is simply what is on my mind tonight.

Refresh my soul

This week I have taken time to slow down my pace and just hang with the family. I needed this time to dig into the word and recharge my battery. I have been running on fumes of late...life just has a way of beating you down. Anyways, the timing was perfect for this much needed retreat from the norm. I feel rejuvenated and ready for the though weeks ahead with the spring fever of students leading to nothing shy of apathy.

It has been a long semester, but God teaches so much in the lengthy stretches of my life. I have been consumed with some things that God should have had all along. So, I will be vigilant and content in giving my worries to God. He knows best.

Phillipians 4:6

My help comes from the Lord. He remains faithful always. Praise the Lord. Oh my soul!

Oh, so much is said in this perfect silence...

When there is nothing left but the absence of noise...you have time to think and search your soul. The lack of communication brings with it it's own understanding. I tire of the feeling that I am some insignificant person. So, I am left with no doubt in the deafening silence I have found of late. Things have been clearly defined even with the lack of definition. I took it to the point that I put everything on the line and well it didn't go as planned. That's all I can do. Wow, disappointment hurts.

http://instagr.am/p/ITJ2BogbZ0/

Words are cheap, actions are where value can be found.

When you're needing your space to do some navigating...

I have so much to learn.

I spent today just laying in my bed thinking and reflecting. I am just trying to be a woman who seeks God for all my answers and giving my worries completely over to Him...not so easy for me. Clearly, I feel I need control and clearly that hasn't worked for me in the past. ( you think I would learn from that!) I personally took a risk recently that is totally outside of my box and let a wall down...to my surprise I have survived and even without knowing the outcome there is something freeing in sharing a part of me that so few see. I am such a guarded person.

I know that God knows what lies ahead for me, and I must rest in the reassurance that he is the best captain to look to when I need to navigate this life.

Brutal Honesty

I was recently informed of the lack of communication skills I have. I am totally aware of my inability to put words to my feelings. I am difficult to pull info from on anything personal and not the best at vocalizing what is going on in my head or heart. I dont really know why I shy away from opening myself up to others...but what I did not see was the frustration and angst people have with this shortcoming in my personality. Sometimes friends just hit you in the face with criticism that is brutal and stings. When this does occur you just are left saying, "WOW...dont spare any of your true feelings." It just leaves you trying to figure out if they were trying to honestly give you constructive criticism which is needed...maybe not in such a blunt way. So, I clearly know what self-help book to purchase first this year...(Expressing Your Feelings For Dummies)!

In with the new!

As, I look back on my year and well time in general...I am always caught off guard by how different things were just a year ago. Change is constant which is ironic in its consistent unpredictability...nonetheless it is a steady trend.

I have realized lately how different my goals and aspirations were just a few years back. My priorities have greatly realigned themselves (for the absolute better!) The things I find important and the things I want out of life are not what they once were. This isn't a shocking or unique circumstance that is selective to me individually, but I find it intriguing to reflect on. People change and grow...some relationships grow apart and some together, some goals grow less important while others take center stage...It is just reality.

My resolution for 2012 is to continue to grow spiritually and see the fruit of that in my life. So, here is to the new year and all its possibilities!

You're the only one who brings me peace...

So many days lately, I have felt like a raft caught out to drift in the vast ocean. Lost without anyone realizing it. Life is full of furry, and it can pound relentlessly across the deck...forcing me to just hold on. I have felt a lack of control over whats going on and even my emotions and responses to the situations. Part of me is realizing that some let downs and situations just keep knocking me down, which is just making me numb or hardening my heart. This is simply something I must be vigilant guard against.I need to be purposeful in spending more time in the word...soaking up all the healing and fortitude it provides me. God's mercies and graces overwhelm me.

Life is full of turbulence, but peace will never be a reality in this world. Peace is found in the midst of these bumps in the road. Faith doesn't eliminate the darkness; it gives us something to cling to. Peace is found within. We as Christians often head straight into the fire and difficulties of this life, the difference is we are armed with the light and promises of God. One of which is peace.

United Pursuit Band- "Running in Circles"

"I'm so forgetful, but You always remind me

You're the only one who brings me peace

You're the only one who brings me peace

So I come, Lord I come I come, Lord I come

To tell you I love you

To tell you I need you

To tell you there's no better place for me than in your arms

To tell you I'm sorry

For running in circles

For placing my focus on the waves, not on your face

You're the only one who brings me peace

You're the only one who brings me peace

In the storm In the storm"